Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
