I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize