Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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