I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm just crazy horny about you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
