I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i now understand why vodka
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
