I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
