Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
