I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
