How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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