I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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