you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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