i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
