your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
