Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
