just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
