I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
