I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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