its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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