We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
