ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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