i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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