he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
