So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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