I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
