glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
