You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
