it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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