he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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