Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
