Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
