That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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