I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
