He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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