he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
BRING THE BAGELS
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
