Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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