Kiss
Puke
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
