update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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