also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
