you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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