Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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