piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
