Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize