Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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