i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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