My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
