11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
