if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
