I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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