dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
did i walk over a car last night?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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