Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
