tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
