How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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