We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That accounts for only three of the penises
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
