I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
