my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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