So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
