how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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