You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
